Beyond Wii

You know the commercial.  Two Asian gentlemen come to the door with small electronic devices in their hands.  They bow politely and proclaim, “Wii would like to play.”  And so the world discovered Wii, the electronic game simulator that actually translates body motion into on-screen action.  You can almost play baseball, tennis, even kill your adversary if you lose at tennis.  I have more than one friend that has Wii and, I must admit, I have played myself.  My biggest surprise was when I heard my dad say his physical therapist suggested he and mom get a Wii.  Apparently the game is very engaging for senior adults, plus the required motion stimulates muscles which then inflame and hurt, necessitating additional visits from the therapist at $130/hour.  Add to that the commission the therapist gets from Wii sales and it’s a pretty nice racket.

I was playing Wii baseball with my young friend Dustin and holding my own very nicely, thank you, when the power went out, just as I had thrown a 97 mph curve ball that broke 2′ just in front of the plate.  Now, facing a dark screen, I had to consider what will be the next generation of gaming?  Could I be the creator of a game craze that could make me millions of dollars?  What great gimmick could catapult me beyond my hard working peers?  And then it hit me.  I will create a series of games that are so real you will actually sweat.  And I will need a catchy name.  I will call it Doo.

My commercial will have two rednecks come to your door with the game controllers; a metal stick, a leather orb and a leather orb grabber.  They will spit and ask, “Doo you want to play?”  They will then take you out back into a field and throw the orb at you, no, near you.  And you will have to swing the stick and hit the orb before it gets past you.  And talk about reality!  When you hit the orb you can run around a bit, no, you can run to a base!  Maybe even have three or four of them scattered around the field.  Imagine being able to feel the earth under your feet as you run.  Imagine the feel of the stick in your hand.  Imagine the sharp pain in your head when the orb is thrown too close and bounces off your melon.  “That felt real!” you say, as you fall to the ground.

Imagine what else you can Doo.  A smaller orb with two paddles, and a table with a net.  Toss the orb into the air and hit it with the paddle.  See it fly over the net and lodge in the forehead of your opponent.  (Note to self, take the spikes off the orb and make it smooth).  Now, that’s better.  Your opponent hits it back as you begin a series of hitting motions sending the orb back and forth over the net until someone hits the orb off the table and it gets lost behind some crap your wife piled up in the orb hitting arena.  Ooh, ooh, new game idea for women.  Doo extreme home makeover game called, “Clean the crap out of the orb arena.”

The possibilities are virtually endless.  Doo you want to go fishing?  Doo you want to drive a car?  Doo you want to get sued because your 5 year old is driving your car?  (Note to self: list a suggested player age on the box).  Doo you want to be a part of the Doo generation?  Be bold, take a chance.  Unplug the TV, get out of the house and Doo something while you still can.

Tags: gaming, humor, recreation, Wii